50 Ways to Say It
by LIttlE.DrUnk.NiNJy
Summary: Ling decides to get creative in how he says 'I love you'. Rating may change
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist the manga or animes. Nor are the various ways to say 'I love you'

**Ok, I know I shouldn't be starting any new projects, but I was bored at like 2am. This is just going to be a quick 5 chapter thing of Ling saying 'I love you' in creative ways and RanFan replying in a witty way. Haha, I need to get more sleep, otherwise these silly things wouldn't be created.**

**ENJOY!**

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50 Ways to Say It

1.

"If my heart were a baked potato, I'd serve it to you with extra butter and sour cream," Ling said with a wink.

"Ling, your heart is an organ that is constantly pumping blood to your vitals." She replied sternly, "Never compare it to a potato!"

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2.

"There's no reason for me to be sad, as long as I have you in my life I'm the happiest man alive." Ling spoke sincerely.

"But, surely you'd be sad if the whole country was in turmoil and it was your fault entirely." She replied without looking away from polishing her mask.

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3.

"The thought of having you in my life makes all my problems disappear." Ling said lovingly, holding her hand in his.

"I highly doubt that, Ling."

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4.

"I'm rubber and you're glue, any feelings you have for me bounce off me and stick to you. Ironically, I feel the same way." Ling said with a clever look on his face.

"I don't quite understand what you're trying to tell me…something about glue?" She tilted her head to the side in confusion.

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5.

"You're every woman I see." Ling spoke softly, but tenderly.

RanFan narrowed her eyes, "You're seeing other women _and _becoming delusional?" With that she pulled out her kunai threateningly.

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6.

"Hug me, if you let go, you lose." Ling said pulling her into a tight hug. She hugged him back for a moment, then pulled away. He frowned, "You lost."

"You must know how to pick your battles."

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7.

"I believe we were meant for each other." Ling whispered to his wife sweetly, pulling her into a tight embrace and kissing her nose.

"I believe you are simply a hopeless romantic." She replied deadpanned.

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8.

"You are to me what an eye patch and parrot are to a pirate." Ling said, trying his best to make that statement sound even remotely eloquent.

"An accessory?" She asked angrily, glaring at her husband.

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9.

"I think I've gotten into the habit of missing your presence every minute of the day." Ling whispered in his loved one's ear.

"That sounds quite obsessive, I think we should spend some time apart."

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10.

"You are the hole in my donut." Ling said trying his best to sound poetic. Ranfan scowled a bit.

"Please never say that again, or I will leave."

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**My favorite one is the pirate one XD. I found everything that Ling says on two different websites. More next time, probably tomorrow, since this basically writes itself :P**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist the manga or animes. **

**Again those somewhat kind words from Ling are from a website :P. I got bored and looked up different ways to say 'I love you'. And I'm sure I already explained this. **

**Oh, I give many thanks to Phantom Kensai, Lani WonderZ, Emylii, Half-HeartedShadow and Just Leah! All of you reviewed the first chapter and it was entertaining reading your reviews. Haha, I love reviews... VOTE IN MY POLL!!**

**ENJOY!**

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50 Ways to Say It  
Ch. 2

11.

"If I hadn't met you, I'd still be a loser!" Ling shouted appreciatively. RanFan rolled her eyes.

"Actually, Ling, you'd be dead."

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12.

"I guess I was born to meet you, then love you the rest of my life." Ling told her with a warm smile.

"No, you were born to ensure our clans survival within the royal family, and then become emperor for the rest of your life." She replied smartly.

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13.

"I'll still want to have sex with you when you're old, fat and ugly." Ling said with a goofy smile.

RanFan glared at him angrily, "Are you implying that when I'm old, I will be fat and ugly?"

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14.

"You make me want to vomit little chocolate hearts." Ling chimed with a grin.

"That's very disgusting, Ling." RanFan replied with a frown.

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15.

"There's no perfect love, but for me our love is perfect." Ling wrapped his arms around her small waist.

"And for me our love is strange or on your part it is." RanFan retorted.

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16.

"I can't stop loving you," Ling whispered in his lover's ear, kissing her neck sensually, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I know and it's becoming quite a problem." RanFan replied her body temperature rising and a blush staining her pale cheeks.

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17.

"I am a valedictorian in the University of You," Ling stated proudly, taking an accomplished pose.

"You went to University, Ling?" RanFan tilted her head to the side, in a cute manner.

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18.

"I would love to spend the rest of my life with you," Ling said happily. RanFan's expression remained the same.

"Even if you didn't want to, you would. It _is_ my job, Ling."

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19.

"I feel like a baby when I'm with you," Ling smiled ear to ear, resting his chin on his palm.

RanFan sighed heavily, "Oh joy, as if _one _child wasn't enough work."

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20.

"You're such a fucking asshole!" Ling shouted, catching his angry lover off-guard, "and so am I. Let's forgive each other, get drunk, and screw." He winked at her, only to be glared at then have a kunai thrown at him.

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** I hope you liked reading this one. I think my fave is #16, haha. This is a great distraction from my other stories XD...oh guilt... XP**

**Uh...what else do I have to say? Oh yea, again, vote in my poll on me profile(no shit)! :) Every vote counts.**

**REVIEW**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist the manga or animes. Nor do I own these various ways of saying 'I love you'**

**BLeh it's late and I'm DEAD tired! D: I don't know why I'm up so late. ...Oh, did you go vote in my poll? I think not!**

**I don't think I have any thing else to write...this is hurting my shoulder. .**

**ENJOY!**

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50 Ways

Ch. 3

21.

"I'm crazy without you," Ling said with a sincere smile.

"Yet, you are even crazier with me," RanFan sighed heavily.

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22.

"You suck!" Ling shouted randomly, "So good!" He winked at his wife. RanFan's face turned bright red. He got no response or laugh, simply a hard smack on the cheek.

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23.

"My world is you." Ling said sweetly. RanFan gave him an inquisitive look.

"You live in quite a small world, Ling." She replied.

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24.

"We're totally codependent," Ling pulled her onto his lap placing a soft kiss on her lips, "and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Then we don't have a very healthy relationship, now do we?" She replied, a fake smile on her lips.

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25.

"I love everything about you." Ling told her with a confident smile. RanFan gave him a look of disbelief.

"Then why did you say 'I hate that you're so cold, RanFan!' to me yesterday?" She paused, "That doesn't sound like love, Ling." She shook her head in disapproval. Ling frowned.

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26.

"I don't want to work, eat, or sleep." Ling spoke with a serious tone, "I just want to look at you." He smiled charmingly.

"Then I will leave the room until you've finished any work you have and eaten your meal." RanFan left the room, leaving him with his work.

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27.

"This is the happily ever after part of the damn fairy tale, got it?" Ling said in an almost angry tone.

"This is no fairy tale, Ling, this is _real _life!" She replied, saying each word slowly.

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28.

"I'm not saying we shouldn't see other people. I'm just saying that I'd chase anyone you see out of town with a nail-studded baseball bat." Ling smiled eerily. RanFan's raised her brow.

"But we never broke up, and if we did. You could simply have that person executed." She replied smartly.

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29.

"I'd rather die, than hurt your feelings." Ling said gently, holding her small hands in his. RanFan looked at him as though he had grown a second head.

"If you died, then it would do more than hurt my feelings."

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30.

"I'm a grown up, but let's face the facts- you're my security blanket." Ling smiled, holding onto her tightly.

"You are such a child, Ling." She rolled her eyes at his silly behavior.

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**I feel too lazy and tired to say which is my fave. THese aren't as funny or cold. Alot of the funny ones are stupid or something_..._I don't know. Well good-night! And vote in my damn poll! Woah, I had this in the My Documents for like...a month. Why didn't I update?**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or Ling's lines XP**

**Oh poo, ran out of ways to say 'I love you' in weird ways. Next one I'll just use quotes or something. If you'd like, give me a way to say 'I love you', obviously it doesn't matter how weird it is XD**

**ENJOY!**

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50 Ways to Say It

Ch. 4

31.

"I love you more than my life," Ling said sincerely. RanFan smiled, "That's nice to hear, Ling."

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32.

"You don't know it, but right here, right now, is the musical montage part of the movie," Ling began, "Let's split a pretzel and take a walk on the footbridge."

Perplexed, RanFan replied, "I don't like pretzels nor are we in a movie."

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33.

"I love it when you're happy being with me," Ling kissed his love on the cheek, softly.

RanFan flashed a quick smile then said, "I would hope that you are."

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34.

"Look, you're the only one allowed in my bunker," Ling stated with a serious expression, "so go get some batteries while I clean my shotgun."

RanFan had the most lost expression, "What are trying to tell me? Do you wish to buy a shotgun?"

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35.

"I love you from head," Ling poked her forehead, "to toe." He then poked her foot, smiling all the while.

"Can I believe you when you say this?" Ranfan replied, "did you not say, yesterday, that you wish I didn't have such small breasts?" She crossed her arms and turned away from her dumbfounded husband.

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36.

"Thinking of you is part of my daily routine." Ling winked at his wife. RanFan sighed.

"You should consider changing this routine of yours."

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37.

"You're my best and only naked friend," Ling said lightheartedly. RanFan laid beside him, surprised. "That's a very strange thing to say…"

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38.

"I'd smoke five packs of you everyday and welcome each and every, eventual tumor." Ling said gently. RanFan shot him a look of disgust and anger, "Are you implying that I am unhealthy for you and cause illness?"

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39.

"I feel like a champion, because I've got you." Ling smiled his typical goofy grin. "Why would you feel that way, am I some kind of prize to you?" RanFan retorted coldly.

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40.

"I trust you with all my heart," Ling said honestly, his hand over his heart. RanFan shook her head, "I wish I could say the same, Ling."

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**Meh, I don't understand #34, but it's one of my faves. So is #35 X) and #37, oh Ling...**

**In the next chapter Ling will finally get the response he's looking for, maybe, if I'm feeling nice :) Oh yea, again, poll tis up and well there. So vote cause I said so :P**

**REVIEW! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist the manga or the animes.**

**Whoo! The end! Thank you JustLeah for #41! I like that one best :) **

**ENJOY!**

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50 Ways to Say It

Ch. 5 (end!)

41.

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Ling held the tissue up to RanFan's nose. She turned away after taking one whiff, "Ling! Why would you…" Before finishing her sentence, she lost consciousness. "Oops."

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42.

"I give you my heart," Ling gave her a small, red paper-mache heart with a warm smile. It slipped from her hands, "It's quite small and ugly, Ling." She said deadpanned, he stood shocked at her reaction.

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43.

"You have nice teeth." Ling blurted, taking a sip of his tea. RanFan stared at him dumbfounded, "Um, thank…you?"

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44.

"Will you show me how to make babies, RanFan?" Ling asked with a cute expression. RanFan sighed tiredly, "Ling, if you don't know how to make children then I am going to leave your side as your wife immediately."

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45.

"You must be explosive," Ling began with a grin, "'cause you got 'handle with care' written all over you!" He chuckled. RanFan pulled out a hand bomb, "Technically I _am _explosive, Ling." She replied with a smirk, he sighed in defeat.

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46.

"I'll be six and you be nine," Ling directed with a sly grin. "I dislike the numbers nine and six. I do not want to take part in you silly game." She turned away childishly. Ling sobbed dramatically, wondering where he had gone wrong.

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47.

"You're like a prize mouth bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you." Ling purred, only a few mere centimeter's between him and his lover. "Are you implying that I am an ugly fish that you won in a contest?" She glared at him and moved away. He hung his head dejectedly.

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48.

"I'm like milk," Ling said smoothly, "I'll do your body good." He moved closer to RanFan to kiss her, she placed a finger on his lips, "I hate milk." Ling's eye twitched with anger, "We're not going to Amestris ever again."

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49.

Ling held up a coin, "if I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head." He said with a smirk. RanFan stared at him for a moment, "Like any other time, tails." She smiled grimly. Ling turned away, blushing.

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50.

"Okay! No more joking around, RanFan!" Ling suddenly shouted. RanFan looked at him incredulously, she opened her mouth to speak but he pointed at her, "Don't you dare speak! I need to tell you this frankly, because I have been trying to tell you for the past forty-nine days how I feel!" He continued almost angrily. She quickly shut her mouth and listened attentively.

"Every time I say something you knock me down, RanFan! Do you not feel the same way as I do? So please, just listen," He cupped her cheek with a gentle hand, causing her to blush. "I love you. I always have and I always will." Slowly, he inched closer to kiss her, but she placed a delicate finger on his warm lips. Irritation blatantly displayed on Ling's face, "Is _that _what you've been trying to tell me all this time?" She asked incredulously.

"…yes…" He smiled, anger in his tone.

"Why do you need to tell me if I already know?"

"Could you please let me kiss you?" Ling asked exasperated. She nodded, and finally he moved closer and kissed her gently, with every ounce of love that he held for her. When their lips parted, RanFan said with a smile, "I love you, too, Ling." He smiled at her and kissed her once more.

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**So I thank you all for reading this and for reviewing! Also, again, vote in the poll! :P I love #50 X) Finally Ling gets his victory! Aren't we all happy? **

**It's really hot so sorry if some of them aren't clever or funny, I was using pick-up lines this time. I couldn't find more ways to say 'I love you' but pick-up lines are good way! Haha...no**

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